This is probably the only post in the series without any photos of the actual subject. The reason is simple: it was only my second day in South Korea, and aside from a few pictures with friends, I didn’t take any others. And honestly, I’d rather not post photos of other people—especially since most of them aren’t even on Facebook!
the wedding
Anyway, I’m not entirely sure whether my friends’ wedding was typical or not. I did some research, and it seems that their celebration wasn’t too different from what many other Korean couples might do, so I’m going to combine what I experienced with what I’ve learned. Why not, right? I hope you’ll enjoy it. Aside from weddings in Poland, I’ve also attended ceremonies and receptions in the U.S., Israel, Italy, and the UK. And I have to say—Korean weddings are truly one of a kind.
The wedding ceremony took place in a hotel, which, as I’ve learned, is quite common in Korea unless you’re Christian and marry the love of your life in the church. In fact, the building had several different wedding halls. Most Korean couples choose a Western-style ceremony, which wasn’t exactly what I had hoped for, but it’s the norm. When we arrived at the wedding area, literally taking the elevator from the 14th to the 3rd floor of the same hotel, we were greeted by the groom. We hugged him, of course. Why wouldn’t we? We’re friends. Then we’ve seen his sister, whom we already known, so we hugged her too. Again, why not? We’re friends. But then things got interesting. There was some commotion, and an older lady approached us, laughing and asking to be introduced. And… we hugged her too. Just like that, an older Korean woman, someone’s grandmother. Total faux pas! In Korea, you’re definitely not supposed to touch an older person when greeting them – you bow. You always bow. Thankfully, she just laughed even harder—and that was it. We were lucky.
We had a brief conversation with the groom, and he asked if we would like to see the bride. Naturally, we said yes, but I couldn’t help wondering whether visiting the bride just before the ceremony was a good idea. She must have been busy getting ready. As it turns out, this is another cultural difference. In Korean weddings, the bride typically waits in a separate room before the ceremony, where guests are welcome to visit and take photos with her. I must say, she looked absolutely stunning in her wedding gown, like a queen seated on a throne. We had a few pictures taken with her while the groom continued greeting arriving guests. Before long, it was time for the ceremony to begin.
It was, without a doubt, the most high-tech event I’ve ever attended. The atmosphere resembled a K-pop concert, complete with lights, lasers, smoke, and music. The ceremony began with the mothers of the bride and groom, dressed in traditional hanboks (ancient ceremonial clothing), walking down the aisle,or rather, the catwalk. Then came the bride, who appeared to float down the aisle on what I can only describe as a remote-controlled platform. I have no idea what exactly she was standing on, whatever it was seemed to disappear the moment she arrived. Even the pedestal she stood on during the ceremony was operated remotely.
The ceremony itself was brief. It included traditional bowing, with the couple kneeling and placing their heads on the floor before their parents. There was also some light-hearted shouting, as it is customary for friends to challenge the groom to do something humorous or “silly” during the ceremony. Friends of both the bride and groom performed songs for them, another traditional element, and then it was time for the photo session. First, the closest family, then friends.
By this point, many guests had already gone one floor down to enjoy an open buffet. While everyone was eating, another more intimate ceremony took place: the ancestral blessing, which included the couple and their parents. This time, the bride had changed into a hanbok as well. And just like that, the wedding was over.
A word of advice in case you will ever attend a Korean wedding: guests typically do not bring physical gifts. Instead, they bring money in a special white envelope, and the amount given depends on the guest’s relationship to the couple and their social status – the higher the status, the greater the expectation. Interestingly, the money goes to the parents, not the newlyweds. That’s why we didn’t bring anything. We’re waiting for our friends to let us know what they might need once they settle in the UK. Blending traditions works well for me; it gives me the freedom to choose which customs I’d like to follow. And personally, it’s important to me that one day, our friends will look at something in their home and remember it was a gift from us. Just as I often do when I glance at the gifts they gave me on my own wedding day back in 2014.
P.S. Wondering about the duck at the top of this post? That’s a mandarin duck – a traditional Korean symbol of marital fidelity and fertility. Unlike most other ducks, mandarin ducks are believed to mate for life. In Korean culture, the red duck represents the bride, and the blue one represents the groom. After the wedding, a pair of these ducks is typically displayed prominently in the couple’s home as a symbol of their lasting union.
Come back in a week for the third part of the Korean trip set. I promise this will be the last one for a while so those of you who are not interested in Korea can finally read something else. For easy navigation through the entire story, each post includes the links listed below.
I’m interested a lot in your S.Korean experience. Are you going to post more about it or is it the last part?
Thanks, there will be more posts about my trips, hopefully soon. I’m just swamped with work currently. And South Korea will definitely be described in more detailed ways. There’s so much I’ve learnt there! Also the US and Canada, at least in the near future.